Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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