9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
