Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
