Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
