Don't you send me to vm
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
