New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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