Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
