I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
