In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
