i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
