Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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