I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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