my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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