D3 body, D1 cock
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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