I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
