theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
