she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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