Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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