apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
