I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My vagina is very pro this idea
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
