if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
