fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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