so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
