I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
