My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
