trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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