...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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