I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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