Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
