I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
