I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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