Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
