I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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