I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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