i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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