There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
