3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
