i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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