I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
