oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
