in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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