Don't you send me to vm
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
