i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Walk of Shame today included voting.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
