Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
