K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
