i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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