He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
