with your own penis?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
