I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
