A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
