Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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