New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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